I'm so not good at this

I'm not good at keeping up with a blog at all. You would think I would be, it's not like i don't spend time on the computer everyday. I really need to try harder. Maybe I just think I'm boring, so I don't put forth the effort. I read a few blogs and they post about things, not just what their kids are doing. All I ever talk about is my family. And so here comes some more.

Yesterday we had a double birthday party for Sam and Mady. We invited the kids from nursery for Mady, a few family friends and cousins, and some kids from Sam's preschool. My friend Tonya and her kids came. She has kids the same age as mine, plus a few older. THey all play and get along really well. Two sisters from church came, my sis and her two kids, and Bry's sis and her four. Sam and Mady had a blast. Later that night, the part I had been dreading came. Sam had gotten out of bed to get a drink. I asked him if he had a good day and he said yes, but he was sad. He came and gave me a hug and said he was sad because none of his friends from school came to his party. He asked me why they didn't and I told him I didn't know. I guess I should have prepared him. None of them RSVP'd, but around here most don't. He was so sad. After he went to bed Bry came back to the living room and found me sobbing. I'm sure the pregnancy hormones make it worse, but my heart was breaking for him. He was so sad. He didn't say anything today, so I'm hoping he's over it.

I am assuming I started nesting last night. I cleaned out the boxes I have been avoiding from when we traded in our van. Not fun to go through those, plus a few other storage things that I have been neglecting. I cleaned the bathroom, folded all the laundry (it was a lot since I haven't felt great lately) and finished cleaning up the table from the leftover birthday party stuff we just dropped there when we got home. Today I had to leave church because of contractions. They stopped after awhile and I took a nap while my mother in law took the kids home with her. Bry was sleeping too, because he had to work tonight. When I got up I cleaned up the kitchen. Again, it's been sadly neglected lately and then cleaned my bedroom. Wow, that was a big task. Now I just have to finish the rest of the laundry and get the three front rooms finished. Well, I guess just two and the kitchen floor. THere really isn't a whole lot left and then everything will be ready for baby! I'm so beyond ready!

Bed rest sucks!

I hate bed rest! It's worse when Bryan works at night. Thankfully he's home for the rest of the week. I'm ready for the cramps to be gone and for things to get back to normal. 5 more weeks and it will be safe to have the baby. That's not too long right?

Oh wow

It's been forever. Things just seem to get away from me. Lets see if I can do a brief synopsis.

Sam had his surgery and is doing fantabulously! No problems whatsoever. It went great. He got to keep his *spot* which he delights in showing everyone. He's back to preschool and enjoys going now that he's not in pain all the time. Getting ready for Kindergarten next year. We have a meeting at the Primary school in a bit over a week to discuss his continued speech therapy.

Savanna is doing so super well. She is in the top of her first grade class. She is in one of the top 3 classes in the school. She had her 3rd nine weeks math test last week and made a 35 out of 33. I'm not entirely sure why she got extra points because there was no bonus question. I will have to ask her teacher after spring break is over.

They are both playing soccer this season. Savanna had a blast last fall and Sam is old enough this Spring. Their first game is next Saturday and they are super excited. Mady felt left out, so she had to get her own *hoccer* ball. It has Dora on it.

Madalyn is doing well, too. She likes to stay home and play with me. We've been getting together a lot with my friend Tonya, and her daughter Kaytlyn, who is Mady's best friend. We've also joined a playgroup and had a few fun playdates with them.

Bryan just started nightshift again. I hate it, but it's not as bad as the last time. He works 12 hour shifts Sunday, Monday, Tuesday nights and every other Saturday. He's ok with it, I'm the one who hates it. I hate doing bedtime by myself. This week was rough, but only because the kids were on Spring Break. It will be much easier to keep Mady quiet than it was to try to keep all three of them quiet when it was rainy outside.

I'm hanging in there. Getting more uncomfortable everyday. Only 8 more weeks left. I can't wait! We're trying to get everything all set up and ready. Bryan is doing a wonderful job helping me do the things I want done and putting up with all my complaining. Plus my horrible mood swings!!!! I'm trying to get all our supplies gathered up for our homebirth. I am so excited to be having this baby at home! It's what I've always wanted.

So that's it. Maybe now I can keep up again. *sigh* Not enough hours in the day.

Sadness

Last night the beloved prophet of our church, Gordon B Hinckley, died. I'm sad because we no longer have his loving guidance. At the same time I am happy for him, he is once again reunited with his wonderful wife and his God. He will be missed!

the battered child

On Saturday I was at a baby shower an hour away and Bryan called me. He said he wasn't sure, but he thought Madalyn might have bit entirely through her bottom lip. She was in the back yard and tripped walking to the step (which is actually just a cinder block) and hit her mouth on it. She bit the inside of her bottom lip and scraped the outside of it. Mostly on the left side. So while I'm on the phone he figures out that she did not bite through her lip. Afterwards I was kinda frustrated that he would call me and tell me, without making sure first, but I suppose he panicked.

Then Sunday morning we were walking down the front steps and a little girl with us accidentally pushed her down the steps. She hurt her lips again, same side. She scraped her gums and slightly pushed one of her caps up. Possibly chipped part of her eye tooth. A friend of mine at church is a dental hygenist, so she looked at Mady's mouth to see if we needed a dental visit, luckily we don't.

She's had a very rough weekend, but she's all smiles. Here are her battle scars.

Gross way to wake up!

I got woken up in a horrible way this morning! A cockroach on my forehead! Every 3-6 months we see one of those HUGE wood/water roaches. They are HUGE and they FLY and it was on my FOREHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't think I have ever jumped up so fast in my life!

My poor baby

My poor baby boy has to have surgery. Ok, I know he's not a baby anymore, but he's my baby. The spot under his tongue is a cyst or a stone. The dr was wonderful. He said it's hard to tell for sure what it is, but he thinks it's probably a stone. He said it is what is making his lymph node swell and would no matter which it was (ha ha mr pediatrician, I was right and you were wrong. I am not as dumb as you think I am.) . He said it should never swell more than one time before we get it looked at. It has swollen really big three times and I told him that I can feel it a bit swollen every day. He said this does explain why he has a low grade fever most of the time and why he has been getting sick so often. He is scheduled to have surgery Feb 5. It's outpatient, so that's good, but I will still be a nervous wreck. My mom and grandma do not come out of anesthesia well, so it makes me nervous. WHen Madalyn had her surgery she came out just fine, so I try to focus on that.

YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE

I got my box springs back tonight!!!! I'm so excited!!!! I rolled all the way across my bed and there was no big bump down the middle!!!! My mom said she put the other box springs on her bed and she had no idea what it was like. She apologized for keeping mine so long. I am way excited to go to sleep tonight!

I fell

I tripped and fell today. Landed straight on the step in my room right on my stomach. My stomach is pretty sore still. There was some odd pain deep inside, but it's mostly gone. Baby peanut is still nice and active, but that doesn't really stop me from worrying. I'm trying though. My midwife said everything should be fine as long as I don't start contracting or bleeding. I've been laying down resting most of the day and might do so tomorrow as well.

Savanna's freak out

Yesterday, just a normal day, until Savanna gets off the school bus at Sam's preschool. It's a 5 minute ride. Just enough for her to get nice and hysterical. 10 kids get off and about 6 girls are all sobbing. Their school gym caught on fire at the very end of the day. Fire alarm, evacuate the whole school, Savanna does have her coat or her backpack. She was crying because she was scared, freezing (it was lower 40's and pretty windy), and she didn't have her backpack, so she couldn't do her homework. For those of you with K, and First grade girls, you probably know what i"m talking about. If they forget their backpack it's the most horrible thing ever. Lots of crying. So we got home and I sat down to talk to her. She was scared, worried about school today, and worried about not having her backpack and coat for today. I called the school and they said everything was fine. A small fire in one of the heaters, mostly just a lot of smoke. I told her the school was fine, they are having school today, and nobody has their backpacks. She asked daddy for a blessing and things are all good now. I'm thankful that i didn't have to pick her up at the school. We had a cookie rally for girl scouts last night and all the parents there who picked up their kids said it was very scary to drive up to the school to see lots of smoke and all the kids in teh yard bawling.

Learned habits

Yesterday when Bry got home from picking the kids up from school he said Sam had learned something new from our neighbors son. It seems that Tristan learned to flip people off at school, which he then taught Sam. Thankfully we have tinted windows on the van because the boys were flipping cars off as dh was driving home. He had a talk with Sam and explained to him that it is really not nice to flip people off and Sam says he isn't going to do it anymore. I certainly hope not. Especially not at school or church. *sigh* At least if it was in Primary, the Primary President is Tristan's aunt, so she knows all about the habit (his parents can't get him to stop doing it) and where Sam got it. I'm worried about what he will learn next!

Baby stuff!

Bryan got to feel the baby kick yesterday! Since I'm overweight he doesn't usually get to feel the babies this early (21 weeks tomorrow), but peanut is still down pretty low. Peanut does not like anything pressing on my stomach and starts kicking as soon as something does. I told Bry to put his hand down low where peanut is and told him to gently but firmly press, almost immediately he started feeling kicks. It was like baby was trying to kick his hand off. It was so cute!

Girl scout stresses

Isn't high school supposed to be over? I have encountered more high school like drama since I graduated than I expected. THe latest is over girl scouts. Amongst the leaders. It's incredibly sad. My troop is consolidating with another troop. The lady who switched places with me to become the leader has given up. I don't want to take it over right now since I will most of our activities in the coming months. We have several trips planned with the whole service unit (all the troops in our city) in April, May, June. It would not be fair to the girls to not be able to go on the trips because their leader is hugely pregnant or has a newborn. The troop we are consolidating with is established, so that's good.

The drama part though it getting to me. I hardly want to answer my phone right now. It's a bunch of he said she said. Why would one grown woman tell another that a third woman hates her? Really? What is the motivation? I'm just frustrated and part of me is grateful that the only role I have now is to take my daughter to her meetings and that's it.

On a brighter note, anyone wanna buy girl scout cookies?

miscellaneous ramblings

Mady and I are both sick. She has my cold and I have sinus issues on top of my cold. I feel like junk. I did manage to sleep in a bit. I'm so thankful that Savanna enjoys getting up early with her sister. They cuddle on the couch under her blankie and watch cartoons. Sam of course, got up and got wild, so I didn't get to sleep very long. He needs to go run in the park or something, if only I didn't feel too yucky to take them.

Sometimes kids say the cutest things. When Mady says I love you first, she still always says *I love you, too* As my sister would say It hearts my melt.

There is now officially a party of one in my uterus. This baby is oh so very active all of a sudden. Almost overnight and I feel movement several times a day every day. Last night there was one particular kick that actually pushed my stomach out. I told Bryan that if i laid down he could probably feel already. Unusual since I'm overweight it usually takes longer for him to be able to feel it.

I'm going to try to make some lasagna tonight. Just shells, meat, moz cheese, and sauce. Hopefully everyone will like it.

Happy New Year!

Men!

Sometimes my wonderful husband drives me up the wall! Last night we had our late Christmas dinner with the in laws. I had to ask mil to leave some potatoes out for Mady so I could use her milk. She thinks it's too expensive to cook with Mady's milk. I offered to provide the milk. We are blessed enough to get it with WIC (without needing a dr note), so it's not like I don't have enough to cook with. Besides, what the alternative? Even if we had to pay almost $4 for a half a gallon, I don't think we really have a choice. There were also several deserts Mady could not eat, not a single one she could. So we went for ice cream after we left. I felt very sad for her to have everyone else eating desert and she couldn't have any. She did eat a bit of cool whip since it's doesn't have lactose in it. We got some sherbet, but all they had was cherry limeade. She didn't like it much. So what does dh do? Sneaks her some of his ice cream. I was very upset. He said he can't stand to see her cry because she couldn't have any. I said I couldn't stand to see her screaming in pain, especially knowing I could have prevented it. About an hour and a half later she woke up screaming. Dh tries to talk to her when she's doing this. I have tried explaining it to him. I use the analogy of not asking a woman having contractions any questions because at that moment they really don't care. He obviously doesn't get it. She doesn't want to be held, or talked to, or often even touched. She rolls around the bed, pulling her legs up, kicking and screaming. As soon as she's done she wants to cuddle. It's heartbreaking to watch. Last night I was emotional anyway and she was screaming and I started crying. I hurt for her when she is like that. After about 10-15 minutes she wound down. She sat on my lap, she was so tired and partly asleep. All of a sudden she curled up and let out this heart wrenching howl of pain as the last cramp hit her. I started crying again and my sweet baby girl reached up to kiss my cheek and tell me it's ok. So I felt like crap after that, I'm supposed to be comforting her, not the other way around. I think Bryan finally FINALLY gets it. We're going to go buy some Popsicles or soy ice cream or something today. Something that we can all enjoy.

So now my question is. We've been searching for a lasagna recipe and everyone keeps suggesting cottage cheese, but I don't know if she can eat that. I've also read that some people who are lactose intolerant can eat yogurt because the bacteria breaks a lot of the lactose down. Do I try it knowing she could very likely have a reaction? The biggest part of me says no, I don't want to do that to her. A small part says yes, because she loves yogurt and if she can eat it that would be a great thing for her. Sometimes being a parent is so hard.

Talked to the nurse

It was not the horrible nurse. She was so wonderful. I guess i let my sister get to me. I explained to the nurse about Mady and what happens when she eats things with milk. I explained about Aden and how his reactions are and what the Children's Hospital dr said about lactose intolerance. She explained that there are different levels. That Mady can obviously eat things like crackers and white bread (not sure about this, we don't have it often), but there are other things that are harder on her. She said the dr would suggest dietary changes and since we have already done that there is no pint in giving her any meds. I asked about the breath test and she said there was no reason to do that since the dietary changes are working. She said it is very hard on kids. It's hard on kids who have diarrhea , but much harder on kids who have abdominal cramp reactions. I don't want to put her through that for nothing, not when what we are doing is already working.

Jen, she doesn't have a reaction for days from the same thing. It just seems that we are fine for a while and then something new things will be introduced or something will sneak in all within days of each other. Like ebbs and flows. She did have colic, but I completely cut all dairy out of my diet, not even processed foods with casein or whey. That didn't help much and the colic went away around four months. I did read that sometimes kids with colic are more likely to become lactose intolerant, but i don't remember where I read it, so I don't know if it's from a reputable source.

Been so busy lately

I feel like I'm never home anymore. I have been running so much lately.

Our Christmas was good. We spent Christmas Eve night at my mom's again. I don't want to do that anymore. I didn't want to do it this year, but i have a hard time saying no. Miss Savanna Rose woke me up at 2 am (after we had already had a possessed alarm clock go off, two kids wake up crying because it was about 90 degrees in our room, and listening to my loud mouth sister and her friends laugh loudly until 12:30) to tell me Santa had come. SHe then proceeded to wake me up every ten minutes for the next hour to tell me that she couldn't wait and we needed to wake everyone else up. I finally showed her the clock and told her she couldn't wake me up until it said 5 am or she wasn't opening any presents until everyone else did. I know, it was mean, but I was tired, cranky, and desperate.

Isn't the lactose thing sup.posed to get easier as after the diagnosis? It hasn't. We have weeks where things are great, followed by several days of horrible reactions. Apparently I'm going to have to ban hot chocolate from my house. If anyone else has it, Mady wants. The screaming for this is as bad as the colic. I called the dr, I just wanted to come in, talk, maybe get a formal diagnosis, but apparently they don't usually see kids for a lactose intolerance diagnosis. What the crap is that about? They are going to call me back, but i don't have much hope. This is the call back nurse who ha refused to let us come in before for what she thought were chicken pox (so was not cp) and while she was listening to my child SCREAM in pain. He was so loud she couldn't even hear me, but nope, he was fine, didn't need to be seen. *sigh* We need new insurance so we can get a better dr.

Is it bedtime yet?

I have been so busy with sick kids I don't even remember the last time I was here. Sam had a very high fever with a swollen lymph node again. THen Mady got the fever and was completely lethargic. She kinda scared me a few times. Our ped's office must love me since i have given them almost $100 in the last month. That doesn't even begin to cover the prescriptions. I am so beyond exhausted. I don't think I have had more than 6 or 7 hours sleep in the last 3-4 days. I'm so tired my eyes hurt the entire time I'm awake. I don't think I was ever this tired when I had newborns.

My poor Savanna. I feel she has sort of slipped through the cracks in the last few weeks. She gets her needs met, but she hasn't had a lot of other time with either of us. Today I took her to the store with me and we've been reading more together. She's very into Junie B. Jones books, which the other two care nothing about. So I'm trying to make up to her for the last few weeks. Of course that doesn't make the guilt go away. We did go to the Christmas Parade with just her on Thursday. She was in it and it was too cold for the sick ones. We went to the library first where we read some and she got to help Grammy work. She really likes wiping off the books people return. She said she wants to work there every day after school. I think I might have a future librarian on my hands.

My son

What he did because Auntie Nay Nay was allowed to write on his face.

My little indian

My mom called Sam today and asked if he wanted to spend the day at her house. While there he played lots of his favorite games and Auntie Nay Nay did his face so he would look like an Indian.