A melancholy day

It's Saturday. Every other Saturday is not my favorite day. Bryan has to go back to work that night and I miss him. I was having an ok day and then I got an e-mail. Now I'm conflicted. I know, I'm being crytpic, but it's a long, drawn out, emotional saga. I hate feeling so confused. I think I know what I want, but part of me doesn't. Another part of me feels guilty for wanting what I want. And I don't know who to talk to about any of it.