Sadness

Last night the beloved prophet of our church, Gordon B Hinckley, died. I'm sad because we no longer have his loving guidance. At the same time I am happy for him, he is once again reunited with his wonderful wife and his God. He will be missed!

the battered child

On Saturday I was at a baby shower an hour away and Bryan called me. He said he wasn't sure, but he thought Madalyn might have bit entirely through her bottom lip. She was in the back yard and tripped walking to the step (which is actually just a cinder block) and hit her mouth on it. She bit the inside of her bottom lip and scraped the outside of it. Mostly on the left side. So while I'm on the phone he figures out that she did not bite through her lip. Afterwards I was kinda frustrated that he would call me and tell me, without making sure first, but I suppose he panicked.

Then Sunday morning we were walking down the front steps and a little girl with us accidentally pushed her down the steps. She hurt her lips again, same side. She scraped her gums and slightly pushed one of her caps up. Possibly chipped part of her eye tooth. A friend of mine at church is a dental hygenist, so she looked at Mady's mouth to see if we needed a dental visit, luckily we don't.

She's had a very rough weekend, but she's all smiles. Here are her battle scars.

Gross way to wake up!

I got woken up in a horrible way this morning! A cockroach on my forehead! Every 3-6 months we see one of those HUGE wood/water roaches. They are HUGE and they FLY and it was on my FOREHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't think I have ever jumped up so fast in my life!

My poor baby

My poor baby boy has to have surgery. Ok, I know he's not a baby anymore, but he's my baby. The spot under his tongue is a cyst or a stone. The dr was wonderful. He said it's hard to tell for sure what it is, but he thinks it's probably a stone. He said it is what is making his lymph node swell and would no matter which it was (ha ha mr pediatrician, I was right and you were wrong. I am not as dumb as you think I am.) . He said it should never swell more than one time before we get it looked at. It has swollen really big three times and I told him that I can feel it a bit swollen every day. He said this does explain why he has a low grade fever most of the time and why he has been getting sick so often. He is scheduled to have surgery Feb 5. It's outpatient, so that's good, but I will still be a nervous wreck. My mom and grandma do not come out of anesthesia well, so it makes me nervous. WHen Madalyn had her surgery she came out just fine, so I try to focus on that.

YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE

I got my box springs back tonight!!!! I'm so excited!!!! I rolled all the way across my bed and there was no big bump down the middle!!!! My mom said she put the other box springs on her bed and she had no idea what it was like. She apologized for keeping mine so long. I am way excited to go to sleep tonight!

I fell

I tripped and fell today. Landed straight on the step in my room right on my stomach. My stomach is pretty sore still. There was some odd pain deep inside, but it's mostly gone. Baby peanut is still nice and active, but that doesn't really stop me from worrying. I'm trying though. My midwife said everything should be fine as long as I don't start contracting or bleeding. I've been laying down resting most of the day and might do so tomorrow as well.

Savanna's freak out

Yesterday, just a normal day, until Savanna gets off the school bus at Sam's preschool. It's a 5 minute ride. Just enough for her to get nice and hysterical. 10 kids get off and about 6 girls are all sobbing. Their school gym caught on fire at the very end of the day. Fire alarm, evacuate the whole school, Savanna does have her coat or her backpack. She was crying because she was scared, freezing (it was lower 40's and pretty windy), and she didn't have her backpack, so she couldn't do her homework. For those of you with K, and First grade girls, you probably know what i"m talking about. If they forget their backpack it's the most horrible thing ever. Lots of crying. So we got home and I sat down to talk to her. She was scared, worried about school today, and worried about not having her backpack and coat for today. I called the school and they said everything was fine. A small fire in one of the heaters, mostly just a lot of smoke. I told her the school was fine, they are having school today, and nobody has their backpacks. She asked daddy for a blessing and things are all good now. I'm thankful that i didn't have to pick her up at the school. We had a cookie rally for girl scouts last night and all the parents there who picked up their kids said it was very scary to drive up to the school to see lots of smoke and all the kids in teh yard bawling.

Learned habits

Yesterday when Bry got home from picking the kids up from school he said Sam had learned something new from our neighbors son. It seems that Tristan learned to flip people off at school, which he then taught Sam. Thankfully we have tinted windows on the van because the boys were flipping cars off as dh was driving home. He had a talk with Sam and explained to him that it is really not nice to flip people off and Sam says he isn't going to do it anymore. I certainly hope not. Especially not at school or church. *sigh* At least if it was in Primary, the Primary President is Tristan's aunt, so she knows all about the habit (his parents can't get him to stop doing it) and where Sam got it. I'm worried about what he will learn next!

Baby stuff!

Bryan got to feel the baby kick yesterday! Since I'm overweight he doesn't usually get to feel the babies this early (21 weeks tomorrow), but peanut is still down pretty low. Peanut does not like anything pressing on my stomach and starts kicking as soon as something does. I told Bry to put his hand down low where peanut is and told him to gently but firmly press, almost immediately he started feeling kicks. It was like baby was trying to kick his hand off. It was so cute!

Girl scout stresses

Isn't high school supposed to be over? I have encountered more high school like drama since I graduated than I expected. THe latest is over girl scouts. Amongst the leaders. It's incredibly sad. My troop is consolidating with another troop. The lady who switched places with me to become the leader has given up. I don't want to take it over right now since I will most of our activities in the coming months. We have several trips planned with the whole service unit (all the troops in our city) in April, May, June. It would not be fair to the girls to not be able to go on the trips because their leader is hugely pregnant or has a newborn. The troop we are consolidating with is established, so that's good.

The drama part though it getting to me. I hardly want to answer my phone right now. It's a bunch of he said she said. Why would one grown woman tell another that a third woman hates her? Really? What is the motivation? I'm just frustrated and part of me is grateful that the only role I have now is to take my daughter to her meetings and that's it.

On a brighter note, anyone wanna buy girl scout cookies?

miscellaneous ramblings

Mady and I are both sick. She has my cold and I have sinus issues on top of my cold. I feel like junk. I did manage to sleep in a bit. I'm so thankful that Savanna enjoys getting up early with her sister. They cuddle on the couch under her blankie and watch cartoons. Sam of course, got up and got wild, so I didn't get to sleep very long. He needs to go run in the park or something, if only I didn't feel too yucky to take them.

Sometimes kids say the cutest things. When Mady says I love you first, she still always says *I love you, too* As my sister would say It hearts my melt.

There is now officially a party of one in my uterus. This baby is oh so very active all of a sudden. Almost overnight and I feel movement several times a day every day. Last night there was one particular kick that actually pushed my stomach out. I told Bryan that if i laid down he could probably feel already. Unusual since I'm overweight it usually takes longer for him to be able to feel it.

I'm going to try to make some lasagna tonight. Just shells, meat, moz cheese, and sauce. Hopefully everyone will like it.

Happy New Year!

Men!

Sometimes my wonderful husband drives me up the wall! Last night we had our late Christmas dinner with the in laws. I had to ask mil to leave some potatoes out for Mady so I could use her milk. She thinks it's too expensive to cook with Mady's milk. I offered to provide the milk. We are blessed enough to get it with WIC (without needing a dr note), so it's not like I don't have enough to cook with. Besides, what the alternative? Even if we had to pay almost $4 for a half a gallon, I don't think we really have a choice. There were also several deserts Mady could not eat, not a single one she could. So we went for ice cream after we left. I felt very sad for her to have everyone else eating desert and she couldn't have any. She did eat a bit of cool whip since it's doesn't have lactose in it. We got some sherbet, but all they had was cherry limeade. She didn't like it much. So what does dh do? Sneaks her some of his ice cream. I was very upset. He said he can't stand to see her cry because she couldn't have any. I said I couldn't stand to see her screaming in pain, especially knowing I could have prevented it. About an hour and a half later she woke up screaming. Dh tries to talk to her when she's doing this. I have tried explaining it to him. I use the analogy of not asking a woman having contractions any questions because at that moment they really don't care. He obviously doesn't get it. She doesn't want to be held, or talked to, or often even touched. She rolls around the bed, pulling her legs up, kicking and screaming. As soon as she's done she wants to cuddle. It's heartbreaking to watch. Last night I was emotional anyway and she was screaming and I started crying. I hurt for her when she is like that. After about 10-15 minutes she wound down. She sat on my lap, she was so tired and partly asleep. All of a sudden she curled up and let out this heart wrenching howl of pain as the last cramp hit her. I started crying again and my sweet baby girl reached up to kiss my cheek and tell me it's ok. So I felt like crap after that, I'm supposed to be comforting her, not the other way around. I think Bryan finally FINALLY gets it. We're going to go buy some Popsicles or soy ice cream or something today. Something that we can all enjoy.

So now my question is. We've been searching for a lasagna recipe and everyone keeps suggesting cottage cheese, but I don't know if she can eat that. I've also read that some people who are lactose intolerant can eat yogurt because the bacteria breaks a lot of the lactose down. Do I try it knowing she could very likely have a reaction? The biggest part of me says no, I don't want to do that to her. A small part says yes, because she loves yogurt and if she can eat it that would be a great thing for her. Sometimes being a parent is so hard.

Talked to the nurse

It was not the horrible nurse. She was so wonderful. I guess i let my sister get to me. I explained to the nurse about Mady and what happens when she eats things with milk. I explained about Aden and how his reactions are and what the Children's Hospital dr said about lactose intolerance. She explained that there are different levels. That Mady can obviously eat things like crackers and white bread (not sure about this, we don't have it often), but there are other things that are harder on her. She said the dr would suggest dietary changes and since we have already done that there is no pint in giving her any meds. I asked about the breath test and she said there was no reason to do that since the dietary changes are working. She said it is very hard on kids. It's hard on kids who have diarrhea , but much harder on kids who have abdominal cramp reactions. I don't want to put her through that for nothing, not when what we are doing is already working.

Jen, she doesn't have a reaction for days from the same thing. It just seems that we are fine for a while and then something new things will be introduced or something will sneak in all within days of each other. Like ebbs and flows. She did have colic, but I completely cut all dairy out of my diet, not even processed foods with casein or whey. That didn't help much and the colic went away around four months. I did read that sometimes kids with colic are more likely to become lactose intolerant, but i don't remember where I read it, so I don't know if it's from a reputable source.

Been so busy lately

I feel like I'm never home anymore. I have been running so much lately.

Our Christmas was good. We spent Christmas Eve night at my mom's again. I don't want to do that anymore. I didn't want to do it this year, but i have a hard time saying no. Miss Savanna Rose woke me up at 2 am (after we had already had a possessed alarm clock go off, two kids wake up crying because it was about 90 degrees in our room, and listening to my loud mouth sister and her friends laugh loudly until 12:30) to tell me Santa had come. SHe then proceeded to wake me up every ten minutes for the next hour to tell me that she couldn't wait and we needed to wake everyone else up. I finally showed her the clock and told her she couldn't wake me up until it said 5 am or she wasn't opening any presents until everyone else did. I know, it was mean, but I was tired, cranky, and desperate.

Isn't the lactose thing sup.posed to get easier as after the diagnosis? It hasn't. We have weeks where things are great, followed by several days of horrible reactions. Apparently I'm going to have to ban hot chocolate from my house. If anyone else has it, Mady wants. The screaming for this is as bad as the colic. I called the dr, I just wanted to come in, talk, maybe get a formal diagnosis, but apparently they don't usually see kids for a lactose intolerance diagnosis. What the crap is that about? They are going to call me back, but i don't have much hope. This is the call back nurse who ha refused to let us come in before for what she thought were chicken pox (so was not cp) and while she was listening to my child SCREAM in pain. He was so loud she couldn't even hear me, but nope, he was fine, didn't need to be seen. *sigh* We need new insurance so we can get a better dr.

Is it bedtime yet?

I have been so busy with sick kids I don't even remember the last time I was here. Sam had a very high fever with a swollen lymph node again. THen Mady got the fever and was completely lethargic. She kinda scared me a few times. Our ped's office must love me since i have given them almost $100 in the last month. That doesn't even begin to cover the prescriptions. I am so beyond exhausted. I don't think I have had more than 6 or 7 hours sleep in the last 3-4 days. I'm so tired my eyes hurt the entire time I'm awake. I don't think I was ever this tired when I had newborns.

My poor Savanna. I feel she has sort of slipped through the cracks in the last few weeks. She gets her needs met, but she hasn't had a lot of other time with either of us. Today I took her to the store with me and we've been reading more together. She's very into Junie B. Jones books, which the other two care nothing about. So I'm trying to make up to her for the last few weeks. Of course that doesn't make the guilt go away. We did go to the Christmas Parade with just her on Thursday. She was in it and it was too cold for the sick ones. We went to the library first where we read some and she got to help Grammy work. She really likes wiping off the books people return. She said she wants to work there every day after school. I think I might have a future librarian on my hands.

My son

What he did because Auntie Nay Nay was allowed to write on his face.

My little indian

My mom called Sam today and asked if he wanted to spend the day at her house. While there he played lots of his favorite games and Auntie Nay Nay did his face so he would look like an Indian.

They have officially pissed me off

The in laws. Gosh, sometimes I think I might honestly hate them. Bryan and I decided that the kids and I would not go to his sister's house for Thanksgiving dinner today. We have spent most of the last week at his parents house visiting with family. He had to work today and I didn't feel like driving for 2+ hours with his dad. So mil calls this morning and asks if Savanna can go. I said yes honestly expecting her to let Sam go, too. She didn't. I should have said no. I'm so mad at myself for saying if they both can't go, neither of them can go. Sam has been sobbing he is so upset. I so don't know how much longer I can deal with them. I am ready to quit going to family functions. I don't deserve to be treated this way and neither do my children.

Oh the pain!

My lower back is killing me. It hurts to sit, it hurts to stand, and it hurts to lay down. I think it can be blamed on the box spring problems we are having. When Sam was six months old we put our mattress on the floor because he was falling off the bed. My mom asked if she could borrow them until she bought new ones. At the time she had a king size mattress on queen size box springs. I agreed, I shouldn't have. I have been asking for them back for years. Especially when I was pregnant with Madalyn. Then she said she would give them back after she bought new ones, again. I gave up asking for awhile. I've been asking again and she keeps putting me off. The box springs we have are not a match. One if a bit higher than the other. It creates serious problems for my back, but most especially when I am pregnant. I'm in so much pain today, and Bryan is working, so I can't just rest. I'm really so frustrated with my mom.

Go me!

I kinda stood up to my mom yesterday. She watched my kiddos while I went to my prenatal appointment. By the time I got back I had a huge sinus headache. When I got there I had to sit and listen to her and my sister fight (WHY do they think they can live together?). Then they gave me an outfit to try on Mady. As soon as I took her pants off she peed on the floor. She doesn't do real well when there are a bunch of people around, I don't know why, she just doesn't. So I was changing her and I was going to clean up the floor. My mom started yelling that she had just shampooed her carpets. Then she turned to Mady and still with her voice raised said she was going to start making Mady wear a diaper at her house. I just kinda snapped and snapped at her *Stop it! That doesn't help anything!* For those that know me well, I don't do this. I had raised my own voice, but I was so frustrated. She's two and a half, give me a break. It's not uncommon for a child her age to have accidents. Telling her she's going to have to wear diapers again is not something that helps. I left shortly thereafter. She can't understand why I got upset with her.